Raising Kids with Gender Neutrality: Fostering Identity Exploration and Inclusivity

In today’s diverse and ever-evolving society, conversations surrounding gender identity have gained significant prominence. The traditional norms and expectations assigned to boys and girls are being reevaluated, challenging the binary understanding of gender. A growing number of parents are opting for a gender-neutral approach in raising their children, allowing them the freedom to explore and define their own identities. In this article, we delve into the experiences of a family that has chosen this path, exploring their motivations, challenges, and aspirations.

A Departure from Conventional Norms

The family at the center of our exploration embodies the idea that a “normal” family can encompass a wide spectrum of lifestyles and beliefs. With two children, Kanan and Zeiler, aged two and a half years, this family defies traditional gender expectations by using gender-neutral pronouns for their children. The parents believe in providing an environment where their children can determine their gender identity on their own terms.

Embracing Fluidity

The decision to raise their children with gender neutrality stems from a desire to challenge the societal constructs that often restrict children’s self-expression and potential. The family aims to create an atmosphere where children are not confined by preconceived notions of what it means to be a boy or a girl. By avoiding gender-specific language and stereotypes, they hope to foster an environment of inclusivity, allowing each child to embrace their true selves.

The Impact of Language

Language plays a significant role in shaping perceptions and reinforcing societal norms. The family recognizes that using gender binaries in language, such as addressing children as “boys and girls,” can inadvertently perpetuate gender stereotypes. Research indicates that such language can contribute to the reinforcement of traditional gender roles, potentially limiting children’s self-perception and aspirations.

Nurturing Confidence and Empathy

Raising children without imposing strict gender identities provides them with the opportunity to explore a wide range of interests and emotions. The family acknowledges that societal expectations often dictate how boys and girls should behave, leading to emotional suppression and limited self-expression. By allowing their children to embrace both strength and vulnerability, they hope to nurture empathy, confidence, and emotional intelligence.

The Uncharted Journey

The family’s approach to discussing gender is characterized by openness and a willingness to address their children’s questions as they arise. They have chosen not to introduce the concept of gender proactively but instead plan to respond honestly and sensitively when their children inquire. This approach reflects their belief that gender is fluid and diverse, and that children should be empowered to explore their own identities.

A Vision for the Future

By raising their children with a gender-neutral perspective, this family aspires to instill values of acceptance, respect, and understanding. They hope that their children will grow up to be allies and advocates for others, supporting diverse identities and challenging societal norms. Ultimately, their goal is to raise confident, compassionate individuals who are secure in their own identities and comfortable embracing the complexities of gender.


The journey undertaken by this family challenges conventional norms and highlights the importance of reevaluating our understanding of gender. Through a commitment to language inclusivity and a dedication to allowing their children to define their identities, they are contributing to a more open and accepting society. As the conversation around gender continues to evolve, stories like theirs serve as a testament to the power of embracing diversity and fostering an environment where every individual can thrive.